He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
