is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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