real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
pray to the hookup gods
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
