so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
