I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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