Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
