Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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