Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
