I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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