I love black thongs
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
