Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize