Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It's Friday. Sex?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
