Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my vag is so smooth its legendary
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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