I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Quick, to the slutcave!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sorry about my life...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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