so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize