I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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