Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
