he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
