i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
