also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
