yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
