Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize