Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
