i barfeds in our rink
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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