The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
