4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
