I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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