At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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