I will die if light touches me.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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