I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
