well most of my day revolves around power hour
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
