I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
