Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
