doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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