Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
