so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize