That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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