The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize