Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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