hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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