Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
