Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
