I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
