Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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