i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
