Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
