i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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