Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
