Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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