Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
