No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize