Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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