Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
