i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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