Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
