literally had 100 drinks last night.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
