I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
