Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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