i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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