my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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