Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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