nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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